At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
