mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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