I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
