Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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