I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
