Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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