You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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