Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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