Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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