so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
