I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
