She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm always down for nudity.
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