We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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