Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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