You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
