We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize