So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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