fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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