Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize