Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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