just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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