he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Every concussion has its silver lining
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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