I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
