I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize