By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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