How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
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Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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