Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
