I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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