Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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