Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
