At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize