Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
