Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
