I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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