Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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