Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem