he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
did i walk over a car last night?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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