Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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