So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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