We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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