Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
