Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize