So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
