While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize