I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
be right there i have to get my cape
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
