i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
