Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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