What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
