we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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