You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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