i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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