well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
