Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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