I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
