genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
