We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
