Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
