i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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