VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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