this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
