Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
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Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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